HAPPY, chalalala ♪

I thought about something today. It was when I was in my mathematic class, listening to the same old shit I already understood two weeks ago. I'm always in a kind of oblivion when I listen to mathematics, so the only thing I can do is to think about... things and other things. Why not ? I cant do something better ; my agenda is already full of drawings, and the teacher freaks out if I speak to a friend. Anyway.

The thing is, I am happy being single. I don't feel obligated to rush into another relationship and put up with all its drama.

I said it. Congrat's, me.

I was made for loving you baby, you was made for loving meee

Alright. What's your dream relationship unh ? Is it with flowers, white horse and all the romantic stuffs ? Is it the only-sex relation ? Is it the Twilight thing ? Do you want it flashy, cocky ?

I think i'm dysfunctional.

Seriously. I never met someone who wants the same kind of relationship as me. Never. I think that a relationship doesn't have to be, unh, « functional » to work. It doesn't have to benefit the people in it, and doesn't have to be lovey-dovey 24/7. As long as you can thrust each other and can communicate well, you've got good foundations to base a perfectly decent relationship.

It makes me think about fews things couples do.

• « You need to be in each other’s screen names, and write how your 2days relation will lasts forever »
• « We'd remember the date we got together, and celebrate our anniversary every month by broadcasting it all over facebook with status such as ' 1 month today babyboy, I love you forever (L) ' »
• « In every picture we take together, we must be kissing / touching each other up »
• « Every time we meet, we must do something to prove we're together (kissing, hold your hand, rub my but), just so we get attention »
• « Wherever you go and whatever you do, I have to know where/when/who/why/how »
• « We have to be lovey-dovey 24/7 or people will think there is something wrong between us »

BULLSHIT.

Put your girl/boyfriend’s name and a heart or a smiley face in your screen name, not a pack of lies about how you’re going to be together forever. Nothing lasts forever. Fuck the date (s)he asked you out, and fuck celebrating it, you got with someone, big deal. What's wrong with picture you just hanging out ? What's wrong with having a public chat instead of having public sex ? Not everyone NEEDS to know you're together, it doesn't matter. You know you're together and that's what matters. Give each other space. Fuck being lovey-dovey all the time. Look aren't everything. If you have a problem, SPEAK with your girl/boyfriend and FIND an solution.

THAT'S IT.

Tell me what ya want what ya really really want

Okay, let's talk a little bit. About one month and a half passes in a new school with new friends and new teachers. I love meeting people, but I feel so incomplete. Something is missing. I thought change would be great for me. I thought it would do something greater than great to solve my missing problem. I thought it would be great to be in another place with other people AND IT IS. However... there is something I lack. If someone know what it could be : Please tell me. I don't have a clue about what it could be. I'm only looking, looking and looking again. Did I say that I was looking for something ? Because I seriously am. Do I look for money, for success or for some kind of thing to be proud of ? Do I want to look better and to feel more attractive and more wanted ? Do I do the same than almost all the teenagers in this world : Look for love ? I don't think so. I'm looking for something MORE. Or something LESS. See, I don't know what I want. Maybe I want to learn something new, something that will make my life better. Or maybe I only want to feel comfortable and free. If I don't know what I want, at least I know what I do not want. I don't want to have a painful life full of regrets. So I try everyday to do the best, to look kinda good and to talk to everyone I meet. I don't want to be with stupid people with stupid ambition but I either don't want to be alone AND stupid. I know I don't want to be more popular and to feel so praised and so admired. I'm okay with the people around me ! I'm not looking for the BIG LOVE. Well not yet. Now I want to flirt, to date and to do things that teens are supposed to do. Maybe this is what I want : To feel kinda normal.

Love

« My mom always told me to remember the three L`s ; Live, laugh and love. She always asked me which was most important and I would say live because if you don`t live, then you can`t laugh or love. However, she was always there to correct me and tell me love was the most important and that's because if you never find love, you'll never fully laugh or never completely understand living. »

Love? It's kind of complicated.
But I'll tell you this: the second you're
willing to make yourself miserable
to make someone else happy,
that's love right there.