who cares ?: 10/2009

Okay, let's talk a little bit. About one month and a half passes in a new school with new friends and new teachers. I love meeting people, but I feel so incomplete. Something is missing. I thought change would be great for me. I thought it would do something greater than great to solve my missing problem. I thought it would be great to be in another place with other people AND IT IS. However... there is something I lack. If someone know what it could be : Please tell me. I don't have a clue about what it could be. I'm only looking, looking and looking again. Did I say that I was looking for something ? Because I seriously am. Do I look for money, for success or for some kind of thing to be proud of ? Do I want to look better and to feel more attractive and more wanted ? Do I do the same than almost all the teenagers in this world : Look for love ? I don't think so. I'm looking for something MORE. Or something LESS. See, I don't know what I want. Maybe I want to learn something new, something that will make my life better. Or maybe I only want to feel comfortable and free. If I don't know what I want, at least I know what I do not want. I don't want to have a painful life full of regrets. So I try everyday to do the best, to look kinda good and to talk to everyone I meet. I don't want to be with stupid people with stupid ambition but I either don't want to be alone AND stupid. I know I don't want to be more popular and to feel so praised and so admired. I'm okay with the people around me ! I'm not looking for the BIG LOVE. Well not yet. Now I want to flirt, to date and to do things that teens are supposed to do. Maybe this is what I want : To feel kinda normal.